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<\/p>\nComparing ourselves with others is nothing new, it\u2019s human nature. Yet, there is another side to comparison that we\u2019re less aware of. One which is pulling us further away from the ability to truly accept and express our emotions and, instead, fuelling a trend of default gratitude, pulling us further away from the joy of authentic appreciation.<\/p>\n
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The art of comparison<\/strong><\/p>\n We live in a world which is driven by comparison and competition. It\u2019s how our society thrives. As a result of our conditioning to \u2018be the best<\/em>\u2019 we only share the highlights of our lives, never showing the ugliness. The image we present to the world is filtered, polished and perfected, hiding any insecurity, imperfection and emotional vulnerability.<\/p>\n We tend to compare ourselves with our peers, more than with anyone else. We feel safe with the pack. It\u2019s uncomfortable standing out, so we use comparison as a tool to monitor our social standing. We constantly want to know what everyone else is up to, using that information as a marker to measure our success and alignment with society.<\/p>\n We desperately want to keep up with a race that has no finish line. Why do we do this to ourselves? Blame the programming. From our childhood we were conditioned to be the best, win the race, be the captain, achieve, achieve, achieve. No one was rewarded for losing.<\/p>\n On a most basic level, comparison is complete denial of living in the present moment. When we slip into a state of comparison, we want to be anywhere but where we are, who we are, in our bodies and in the lives we\u2019re living.<\/p>\n Comparison is the thief of joy. It pulls us out of the beautiful life we are living, tearing us away from the perfection of the present moment and slams us into the glass through which we stare out at the world thinking we should be better than we are. It\u2019s in these moments that we forget that happiness is an inside job. Contentment is an inside job. Nothing external can ever fix the self-esteem wounds within.<\/p>\n The dark side of comparison<\/strong><\/p>\n We\u2019re all aware of the dangers of comparing our lives with others yet there is also another side of comparison which we\u2019re less conscious of. While we easily recognise how we compare ourselves to the lives which, in some shape or form, we yearn to attain, we are less aware of how we can also compare ourselves to those the lives which, on the deepest level, we fear attaining.<\/p>\n We witness those who suffer and compare our lives to theirs which has a twofold response within us. Firstly, we feel shame. We feel unworthy and undeserving of complaint when we are aware that there are others whose suffering is far greater than ours. We may even feel guilty for our lifestyles, thinking we are \u2018wrong<\/em>\u2019 and \u2018bad<\/em>\u2019 for not appreciating them on a constant basis.<\/p>\n While it\u2019s human nature to pursue happiness and stop ourselves from expressing any kind of sadness, it\u2019s necessary to acknowledge our own pain and suffering. We can be aware of the suffering in the world and still be allowed to feel our own. Repressing our own emotions due to guilt or shame drives them deeper into the body where they fester until we have no choice but to confront them.<\/p>\n Feeling unable to express emotions because we feel guilty that others are suffering more isn\u2019t showing compassion to ourselves. When we gloss over our own difficulties and sugar-coat our own feelings with a layer of positivity, it only serves to suppress and invalidate our true feelings even further.<\/p>\n Secondly, through this action we not only negate the validity of our feelings but we also force ourselves into an unnatural and contrived place of gratitude. What is called a \u2018default gratitude<\/em>\u2019 that is forced out of us from a place of guilt and shame.<\/p>\n Default gratitude<\/strong><\/p>\n Gratitude is an incredibly powerful practice but the concept has been hijacked in our happy-go-lucky society. We are being shamed into gratitude rather than letting the feeling spontaneously arrive within us. Gratitude and positivity both have a place in our world but, when we force them, we lose the potentiality of each.<\/p>\n Gratitude has become a default check box rather than an organically grown emotive state. We compare our lives to others, seeing the suffering, and feel we \u2018should be grateful<\/em>\u2019 for what we have rather than feeling gratitude as a naturally occurring phenomenon.<\/p>\n There is a vast difference between authentic gratitude and default gratitude. Default gratitude comes from a closed heart, hardened with doubt, hurt and fear. Heavy with feelings of guilt and shame for not acknowledging our abundance when others suffer so terribly. Superficial platitudes of gratitude in this vibration can\u2019t unfurl the heart. There is deeper work to be done to step away from comparison before you can let the heart open. When we are tightly curled in on ourselves, protecting and shielding the physical and emotional body, real gratitude is much harder to feel and celebrate.<\/p>\n Authentic gratitude<\/strong><\/p>\n Authentic gratitude rises spontaneously when we feel overwhelmed with joy for a moment in time. It is pure and authentic as we fall into a place of love for a moment in time. This is the real stuff.<\/p>\n \u201cIt is a state of heart-felt, tangible beauty. It is organic and spontaneous. It is genuine and it has integrity. We know when we are grateful because we feel it in our very beings. Gratitude is a human energy that arises spontaneously in response to states of well being<\/em>\u201d \u2013 Murray Hill.<\/p>\n Gratitude is a vibration of pure joy as we witness beauty in a moment. It is born out of a state of awareness. When we\u2019re present we\u2019re not looking behind us lamenting the past, neither are we worrying about future fears, we are here with our eyes wide open to all the wonders of this moment in time. It\u2019s in this place that we can truly feel, appreciate and love.<\/p>\n We feel gratitude in moments of time; beautiful sunsets, a sleeping dog, rainfall, a steaming cup of tea, flickering candlelight, a bowl of cherries, birds in the garden, slipping into bed at the end of the day. Moments like these bring gratitude streaming to the surface.<\/p>\n If you\u2019re finding yourself struggling with feeling gratitude on an authentic level, recognise where you might be sugar-coating your destructive emotions with false positivity. Open yourself up to feeling all your emotions, no matter how destructive they might seem. It\u2019s from this place of honesty and emotional validation that you can begin to truly see those aspects to truly be grateful for.<\/p>\n Then start becoming more present. Open your eyes to the beauty around you. Don\u2019t force it where you can\u2019t feel it and don\u2019t feel the need to see the shine in everything. Drop the lists, check boxes and gratitude journals. Practice heart-opening yoga and meditation so you can learn to be in the moment and gratitude will come to you in the most natural and nourishing way.<\/p>\n <\/p>\n yogaesoteric \u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Comparing ourselves with others is nothing new, it\u2019s human nature. Yet, there is another side to comparison that we\u2019re less aware of. One which is pulling us further away from the ability to truly accept and express our emotions and, instead, fuelling a trend of default gratitude, pulling us further away from the joy of […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":4,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_uf_show_specific_survey":0,"_uf_disable_surveys":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1226],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-71958","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-society-1602-en"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogaesoteric.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71958","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogaesoteric.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogaesoteric.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogaesoteric.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/4"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogaesoteric.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=71958"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/yogaesoteric.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71958\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":71962,"href":"https:\/\/yogaesoteric.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/71958\/revisions\/71962"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/yogaesoteric.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=71958"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogaesoteric.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=71958"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/yogaesoteric.net\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=71958"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
\nFebruary 19, 2022<\/strong><\/p>\n