How to Get Your Tax Cattle to WANT Digital ID. A Guide for Left- or Right-wing Authoritarians

Breaking news, people! I found this manual for how the globalists plan to implement their digital ID control grid in……. in a……. uhm……. an abandoned photocopier? And now I’m going to reveal it to you!

Just don’t ask to see the original document. My dog ate it.

So, without further ado, here is the elitists’ super-secret handbook on How To Get Your Tax Cattle to WANT Digital ID: A Guide for Left- or Right-wing Authoritarians.

Ladies and gentlemen, cyborgs, clones, interdimensional reptilian shapeshifters and assorted others: I bring you today glad tidings of joyous news! Our plan is almost complete!

Yes, after centuries of careful manipulation, we are almost ready to implement the final stage of our scheme for total global domination. All we need now is to get the tax cattle to accept their digital ID and the rest of the plan will fall into place.

First the digital ID.

Then the digital currency.

Then a war or scamdemic or extraterrestrial invasion or other emergency (yet to be decided).

Then: BAM! We have them!

Imagine. Everyone tracked everywhere they go! No one allowed to buy or sell without the digital ID chip in their hand or forehead! Every would-be resister identified and rounded up at a moment’s notice!

Genetic manipulation of the species? Enforced brain chips? Carbon rationing? 15-minute cities? The end of free speech? The end of humanity itself? With our digital ID control grid in place, the sky’s the limit!

There’s just one pesky problem. It seems the tax cattle are wary of the digital ID system. It seems it may take some doing to convince them of the benefits of being tracked, traced, surveilled, monitored, databased, regulated, allowed, disallowed, measured, mandated, restricted, punished and reduced every moment of every day for the rest of their miserable little lives.

But let’s not worry about that. As you know, we have managed to get the tax cattle to sort themselves into two opposed groups: those who identify as “left-wing” and those who identify as “right-wing.” (Or, in the modern parlance, “libtards” and “fascists.”) It should be simple enough, therefore, to employ our usual psychological warfare tactics to create propaganda specifically tailored to appeal to each side’s sensibilities and lead them down the digital ID cattle chute toward the slaughterhouse.

I present to you, then, our ultra-secret guide to How To Get Your Tax Cattle to WANT Digital ID: A Guide for Left- or Right-wing Authoritarians.

For the Left-Wing Authoritarian

Remember when the tax cattle on the left wing of our technocratic plantation were wary of the collaboration of government and business?

Remember when they inherently distrusted Big Pharma and Big Agra and Big Finance and all the other “Bigs”?

Remember when they organized entire movements to protest the formation of the Big Tech “Octoputer” and to warn about the perils of digital dictatorship?

Luckily, that’s all a relic of the past!

Yes, if recent events have taught us anything, it’s that there’s no Big Tech / Big Pharma / Big Government collaboration that the average lefty won’t swallow (or inject). All you have to do is tie your digital cattle tag into an establishment media-driven, government spokesmen-led campaign that allows the erstwhile “liberals” to virtue signal how willing they are to follow Big Brother’s orders and—hey, presto!—they’re lining up to get digitally cattle tagged with a manure-eating grin on their face.

And if that doesn’t work, how about this: you can always gin up a big scare over “fake news” or “disinformation”! Tell your cattle it’s all part of a Russian campaign to undermine your country or something like that. (Unless you’re a Russian authoritarian, of course. Then you blame it on Western meddling.) Once you get the people worked up over the horrid freedom of speech that has allowed this scourge to flourish, then you can propose your solution: a digital ID to get online!

After all, we’ve been trying to introduce a “driver’s license for the internet” for 24 years now, and the US government started testing it a decade ago. The trick is not how to get such a system to work on a technical level. That’s already taken care of. The trick is how to get the public sufficiently panicked about the latest cyber scare story to demand that we, their rightful rulers, force such a system on them.

Or, if the Russki/Chicom/North Korean disinfo bogeyman isn’t alarming enough, we can always pull out the time-tested emotional blackmail tactic of mothers everywhere: “Won’t somebody think of the children!”

Yes, children are being exploited, duped and lured into seedy parts of the internet by online predators, and they’re encountering all sorts of age-inappropriate material in cyberspace. So “think of the children” in this case means that parents should be committed, engaged guardians who take an active role in teaching their children how to behave responsibly online, right? It means these parents should be monitoring their kids’ internet usage, discussing issues of concern with them and making sure their online activities are restricted in age-appropriate ways, doesn’t it?

Pfff. Of course not! No, the only conceivable solution to the problem of online exploitation is online age verification, and the only conceivable way that can be done (according to the Information Technology and Innovation Foundation, a congress critter-infested “independent research institute”) is for US legislators to pass a bill that creates a “national, interoperable framework for securely issuing and validating digital IDs across all levels of government.”

The Aussies, meanwhile, are lightyears ahead of their American counterparts in terms of implementing these technocratic controls. That’s right, Australians are already thinking of the children!

Recently, Australian Prime Minister Anthony Albanese announced that he would be introducing legislation to ban under-16s from virtual communication platforms in that country. According to Australia’s ABC, depending on the wording of the bill that finally gets passed, this might mean “Australians will be asked to provide their IDs or biometric data directly to social media companies in order to use their platforms.”

And if it works in Australia, it’ll work in Canada, too! Just call it the Protecting Young Persons from Exposure to Pornography Act, make sure it imposes an age verification burden on virtual communication platforms that will ultimately require a digital ID “solution,” and then dare any MP to oppose it. “Look, this sick politician opposed the bill, so he’s for exposing children to pornography!” Works every time.

And if all that doesn’t work, there’s yet another issue that can be exploited to get those bleeding-heart sandal-and-sock-wearing, granola-chewing lefties clamouring for their digital cattle tag: poverty!

You want to end poverty, don’t you? Of course you do. And we can’t do that without a cute, cartoony, color-coded UN-backed agenda driving us toward such a worthy goal, can we? And in the fine print of that agenda (but who’s got time to read anything these days?) we can let slip that it’s all about digital ID:

Mwaa-haaa-haaa!

And the gullible rubes still wear their SDG lapel pins and think that the “Sustainable Development Goals” are actually aimed at helping the poor and caring for the sick or some such twaddle!

One way or another, we have the lefties in the bag for the tag!

For the Right-Wing Authoritarian

Remember when conservatives were wary of Big Brother infringing on their liberties?

Remember when they protested Social Security cards because the very thought of having to accept a government-issued number in order to get a job was a sure sign that the Land of the Free was turning into a communist hellhole?

Remember when they recognized the collusion of billionaire tech monopolists and the government as a bad element?

Well, now that Trump is in office (with Musk and Thiel and the other Silicon Valley technocrats in tow), the would-be right-wing authoritarian doesn’t have to worry about Americans standing up against the coming digital ID anymore! Just wait until Elon starts including it with every Neuralink brain chip. Or when he makes you use an Israeli software company founded by “ex”-Unit 8200 members to verify your Twitter account. (And—oops!—it looks like that company “accidentally” exposed all their users’ identity documents!)

In the US, the move toward the digital ID system, which is to come into force in 2025, will see biometric collection in the US become a requisite for domestic flights and any other “official purposes” that the DHS Secretary can unilaterally determine require a “real ID.” The “real ID” provides favorable provisions for digital IDs, such as digital drivers licenses (such as the Florida smart ID being piloted in Ron DeSantis-governed Florida) and other “mobile digital documents and digital cards.” Elsewhere in the US, in airports, the push for digital IDs and facial biometric scans continues to rapidly advance.

Any Questions?

Let’s see. We have left-wing voters. We have right-wing voters. That’s everyone, correct? Because everyone is either Team Left-Wing Oligarch or Team Right-Wing Oligarch, yes? There couldn’t possibly be anyone who is against both left-wing and right-wing oligarchs, could there be?

Well, if any such oddballs exist, not to worry. Like crabs in a bucket, the lefties and righties will make sure to attack any outliers, labeling them deranged conspiracy theorists or, worse yet, supporters of the other side so that their objections can be dismissed without discussion.

And the plan marches forward…….

Now we entrust this special guide to our most trusted lieutenant.

Let’s hope he doesn’t leave our secret plans in an old photocopier……. again!

Just imagine if the public caught on to what we were doing! They might actually refuse to be digitally cattle tagged! Anarchy!

Luckily, that will never occur! Our plan is almost complete!

Now, the rest depends upon you, dear reader.

Author: James Corbett

 

yogaesoteric
December 7, 2024