Closer to God

Personal accounts from the International YOGA Symposium Costineşti 2009

For many of us, The International YOGA Symposium in Costineşti this year was an exceptional one, also due to the fact that on August 27th, after the hiatus spiral, there was a special selection of those called by God to be part of the charismatic Movement “With God, For God, In God, Into God”, which will be initiated in Romania.
Some of our colleagues wanted to share some personal experiences from this YOGA Symposium, in order to help you better understand, from their own feelings and experiences, what the biannual camps, already a tradition in MISA, represent for the students of this YOGA school. Here are their accounts:

Costineşti 2009 – the most beautiful spiritual holiday I ever had

This holiday was the most intense and fulfilling one for me until now. I enjoyed it at the fullest, from the very beginning, from the expansion of its field to its reabsorption. Each moment was, due to the intensity of happiness and love I felt, a continuous Self and God rediscovery, like a continuous celebration. Each year, the extraordinary field of the camp brings into Costineşti, Romania, colleagues from the MISA YOGA School from all over the world. Because of this exceptional subtle field, during this camp I perceived a state of fraternity, unison (also due to the activities in the camp) that we all lived, as an immense family of thousands of people, where aspiration and love of God was the common denominator. Even now I feel full of energy and I have a new impulse for the year to come. The activities and the initiations I took part in (INDRA and SVARGA LOKA) were occasions of great joy. I felt transformed just by participating at those conferences. I lived a continuous state of effervescence and love.

The highlight of the camp was the day of hiatus with the exemplification for the charismatic group. I so much wanted to feel God that I felt I couldn’t breathe anymore. During the exemplification, my heart started to sing again of happiness, gratitude and deep love. I felt at home again, a child of God’s love. My life has had a new course since then. I feel reborn into love and aspiration towards God. I deeply thank God and our spiritual guide, Grieg.

F. L., 10th year, Bucharest

I am Everything, as God is in me and I am Nothing, as I do not exist without Him

Intending to prepare myself for the special initiation from August the 27th, and aiming to charge that moment, I was inspired to ask God to choose me to be among those called to the new charismatic Movement. I related to the moment of the initiation, when three invocations were to be made, as we were told. This is what I perceived: an ineffable feeling embraced my being, about which I can only say that I perceived it as a “journey” to a high, profound destination. It was a certainty, a total faith, without any trace of doubt; the state of abandon which I longed for was gradually installed into my being, at all the levels of my being, and this gave me the feeling of a journey.

Then I felt something like an opening, which God made on my being, just as an operation. Then I perceived myself penetrated by the Holy Spirit of God, which illuminated each part of my being with an extremely bright, yet gentle, loving light. This penetration that God made into my being, made me feel that at the same time I penetrated the heart of the Universe, that I was completely tuned to the frequency of its beat, like a return home that I am entirely a little heart pulsating again in the rhythm of the Father’s heart.

My sincere pray to abandon myself to God the Father and only do His Will caused God to merge with me with His Determinative Will and install it there. I perceived as my physical body was penetrated by Him and my simple choice, wish and the manifestation of my will to be His made that all I perceived as being myself was taken over by Him. Just as even the physical body gave itself to Him and then I clearly felt that God is making it move. I perceived and at the same time accepted that in reality I was and I still am of God, from the beginning of time and for eternity. The total faith and the courage to only do what He tells me filled my being as well. At the same time I felt also compassion, a natural state of being with God, in God and to only do His Will. My mind didn’t ramble anymore and my consciousness was very much expanded. My spiritual guide was present in me, outside me, everywhere.

I now perceive how God always gives us what we need: vital energy, inspiration in any action…
The joy of being His and of doing everything for Him (actually of accepting Him to do through me) is life giving! I am alive! I am Everything, as He is in me, and nothing as I do not exist without Him. I also became aware of the personal, ineffable, mysterious relationship that always existed between my being and the Mysterious Being of God. I thank you Supreme Spiritual Guide, God the Father for giving me back to You!

After the special selection, the following day I felt I had a different perception about myself. I was a completely new person. I felt infused by God, a feeling similar to the one of being an apostle. I became aware of certain gifts, just as certain powers that God activated in each of the people who felt called. Generally speaking, my perception the following day was that veils of consciousness were removed and thus I feel lighter, as if I have freedom of movement and I see things less distorted and more objective.

Spiritual tests – catalysts of our spiritual transformation

Of course towards evening the spiritual tests appeared. It is now easier for me to understand when a test appears and this state is maintained in the background, even when it’s hard for me; somehow there is the continuous awareness of the fact that I’m dealing with a spiritual test.

Easily passing this trial, with the help of God, the demonic forces naturally took even more intense actions to test me even harder. I was having a jealousy test, a family attachment test, as well as a fear of death, all at the same time. God supported me this time also. It seems that my abandoning was not complete and it was causing this breach. I woke up with the thought in my head that my brother was dying, like I was visualizing this against my will. I was assaulted by despair and remorse, although I was at the same time aware that this was the action of the evil forces. It was as if I did not have the power to escape their influence and in a way it was true, because my state of abandoning towards God was broken, limiting my access to His divine inspiration and support.

My tests continued intensely, as if the entire arsenal of those forces was thrown into battle, or better said, all my weak points and cracks were exploited: my couple relationship, the relationship with my family, everything that used to be solid was now thoroughly shaking. I thank God for showing me my biggest faults/issues; it seems also natural and I had an intuition this would happen: in order to be a disciple of God, He should be the only certainty in my life, in my being. How else could I abandon myself to Him completely?

I was given clear signs when I was not doing what God inspired me to do; I was starting to be aware that this was not just hurting me, but the ones around me as well, the Universe… God has shown me that in giving you receive; you help yourself while helping others.
The terrible pain and suffering I felt during these spiritual tests, due to my attachment and jealousy have led me to the state of abandoning and taking comfort only in God and the Spiritual Guide, His embodiment.
I felt my tears sacred, because they were of longing for my lover (in which I ceaselessly saw God), my skin is now sacred because it was touched, caressed and kissed by him, as well as my eyes, mouth… Suddenly I felt entirely sacred in that huge pain, getting closer and closer to what I really am, my Divine Self. My lover, the Spiritual Guide, God were all merged into a single being, the One and Only.
My Spiritual Guide once again reassured me that everything is very good when I saw these words posted on a door: “Today is the best day of your life”. Seeing this suggestion that acted like an ineffable spiritual impulse for me, The Sun of the Self started to light up for me again, filling me with faith, hope, love for my deep inner being, love, which was implicitly reflected on the others. I could see how by loving myself I was loving them, loving God.

Mauna (the practice of silence) helped me a lot. My consciousness is more awake now and I sincerely want to succeed in manifesting my Divine Self, in all its attributes. Gratitude towards God, when often manifested, is of great help as well.
The conference on the Apocalypse and the exemplifications about our spiritual mission from that conference’s program helped me very much and prepared me for the special moment of the selection for the charismatic Movement.

Tudor Dana – 18th year, Bucharest

I had a rich spiritual holiday

This year, the camp in Costineşti was a rich one for me, from many perspectives. Physically speaking, I enjoyed very good health and I had all the pre-conditions to fully benefit from this spiritual camp. It was easier for me this year to get everything I needed than in other years. From the emotional and psychical point of view it was excellent as well. All the time, or almost all the time I felt a state of inner joy, cheerfulness and happiness, inner peace and the relationship with my lover was very harmonious and fulfilling. But most of all I felt this spiritual richness.

There was a certain synchronicity as well: I started Chinnamasta tapas before the camp, which was supposed to end exactly at the beginning of the camp, without knowing that this year’s camp would be under the sign of Chinnamasta. I felt very beautifully her grace during the whole camp. Even though the tapas I took ended, I went on doing meditations with the mantra of Chinnamasta during the whole camp. During the camp I finished a tapas with the Great God Indra as well and this helped me very much to perceive his grace during the YOGA symposium.

At the beginning of the international YOGA symposium, I joined the Polarity Camp kept by Mihai Stoian. My participation there was very special, as I received a spiritual impulse that helped me during the entire month of August, at the YOGA camp I attended, in the way that, for example we used to meet every morning and do a group meditation. Continuing to do those morning meditations for the whole month was an exemplification for me of what a gram of practice is worth tons of theory really means. I realized then that the gram was not the only unit of measure, that there were others. Some people practice kilograms and they achieve directly proportional results. Others practice milligrams and they achieve results as well, but they are milli-results. They gather up in time, but you need a lot of patience.

I also perceived very beautifully the grace that was poured upon us in each meditation from the camp’s program, sustained in a telepathic way by our Spiritual Guide, as if – someone said – you only had to be there to benefit from it. This grace over flew upon us like rain. We received it just by participating there. After we return home we need to practice certain spiritual techniques in order to gain the same states and have the same results. But there we just receive it as a gift; we just need to be there.
I perceived this grace the strongest after the hiatus spiral meditation, during the selection that was made for the Charismatic Movement. From the moment I left for the spiral I felt so much grace, so dense, that whatever I did, everything was integrated in divine harmony. If, for example, I was doing a blessing, I perceived very intensely the divine energy which flowed through me and manifested then into and through me…

Boda Adrian, 16th year, Bucharest

The simple wish to be grateful to God as often as possible for everything He gives us, makes God manifest for us in an tempestuous, overwhelming way

Being asked how we can prepare for the special selection which was to be made by God the Father for the Charismatic Movement at the seaside, our Spiritual guide told us that a very simple and at the same time, very efficient method was to express a few times every day our gratitude towards God for everything good or less good we receive.
Because I felt a sincere aspiration to be part of this Charismatic Movement – which I feel is an answer to the wish of my soul to have access to a more direct, concrete and clearer method to get closer to God in order to know Him, love Him and serve Him – I immediately started to put into practice our Spiritual guide’s advice. Therefore, I set the alarm of my phone to ring every hour in order to be reminded to thank God for everything He gives me. When I was doing this gratitude meditation I aimed to feel in my heart a genuine state of gratitude towards God for everything He gives me in each moment of my life (with good or bad, pleasant or less pleasant), being at the same time aware that everything that comes from Him is for my own good and its purpose is to help me transform into becoming a true child of His.

In the first day, I confess, it wasn’t easy for me to stop the action I was doing immediately when the phone’s alarm rang, but from the following day my aspiration to be grateful to God for everything He was giving me amplified even more, and being aware that in this way I was giving God the first place in my life, I was able to be prompt and total in my action of giving thanks.

My life rapidly and miraculously transformed from the second day of this practice. Each time the alarm rang there was a huge joy in my heart because it was as God was ringing to meet me. I perceived these waves of happiness, which were coming in my soul in an overwhelming way, exactly as God was answering thousands of times more to my initiative of thanking Him from all my heart for everything He gives me.

Doing this gratitude meditation hourly every day for a longer period of time, I started to become more detached from all the events in my life, from all the pleasant or unpleasant situations, having at all times in the background the awareness of the fact that everything comes from God and He is always with me and inside me, no matter what is happening in my life. I began to live at the same time the state of witness and actor of my own existence, in which the central axis was for me God.
Very soon (after starting this practice) God started to manifest in an tempestuous and overwhelming way, as together with this gratitude I felt every day, my love for Him was increasing a lot, as well as my wish to give myself to Him and become one with Him, to become a perfect divine relay for His divine will was increasing more and more in my heart.

My days were now full of happiness and, being full of love for God, feeling drunk of gratitude and happiness for having the chance to exist and to love Him and praise Him in my heart, He shouted at me one day, through a complete stranger that He loves me, and through the workman from the shop in the corner, in front of which I passed so many times He said He was in love with me; the same day he pleased me by saying I was beautiful, through the words of a friend I hadn’t seen in a long time; He strew flowers in my way from that tree in that street where He knew I’d pass. Another day He smiled to me through a stranger who passed by me; He gave me a flower when I least expected, without letting me forget about Him one moment, through my colleague which had no idea why she had the feeling she should give someone a flower that day; He started to adore me like never before through my lover… He fondled me with the wind and his perfumes; He caressed me with the Sun and his life giving heat… He pleased me day and night with the love I continuously felt for Him in my heart, because I used to fall asleep and wake up feeling that I loved Him with all my being; even in my sleep I could feel my heart full of love for Him; my phone used to wake me up in the morning for thanking God… It was a continuous and fascinating intoxication of love, because the love I felt in my heart for God was given to me also by Him. It was as if He loved Himself through me, making me witness to His immeasurable and total love, giving Himself to me in this sublime way …

During the period of time while I consistently did this type of gratitude meditation, I lived as if in an enchanting soul-like paradise, full of serenity, quietness, harmony, exuberant happiness, peace and love…
He, the Supreme Lover of my heart, God of Heaven and Earth and the Creator of everything fulfilled the unspoken wishes of my heart, He made me feel He was the Only one for me and I was the Only one for Him, He made me feel as his queen, continuously overwhelming me with all sorts of wonderful gifts. And, if somehow I forgot about Him while I was taking care of some other things, this separation soon made me long for the happiness of loving Him and being always present in and through Him.

The summer camp in Costineşti this year was not any less than the period before, when I had all these wonderful experiences. God arranged things so I had the most wonderful and delightful living conditions during the entire camp. He offered me the lovely gift of falling in love as well, which I experienced as never before. I was both a witness to the process of falling in love, which was happening in my heart and the one being in love of the wonderful man that God wanted me to meet.

Called by God

My entire being was focused on the moment of the extraordinary selection of those called by God, which was to follow after the hiatus spiral.
I started that day with great emotion, as for me this occasion was in a way the meeting with God, the Supreme Lover of my heart. The hiatus spiral was the most wonderful spiral for me until then. The entire atmosphere of that day of spiritual celebration was full of joy, sublime, aspiration, faith and desire to be among the ones called by God, which was felt in the soul of every participant… It was like we were all in a divine dimension, full of serenity, freedom, enthusiasm, light, and aspiration towards something better, more beautiful, and divine… This hiatus spiral brought me the vision of a state of ascension towards God of all the participants, of unique spiritual unity in the desire to be good, to heal this planet, to serve God, through an aware assuming of our own spiritual responsibility, more than ever before.

I felt that the subtle support of our spiritual Guide made possible all this manifestation of sublime divine energies, which was ascending our being and helping us to aspire towards God, to leave behind all our selfishness, attachments, ignorance, lack of love and fraternity, seclusion and paltriness in order to access a higher level of consciousness, a divine world full of light, faith and divine beneficial hope. It was a common aspiration, in which our souls united in the common desire to become true children of God. It was as if God Himself was holding us in His hand, giving us the impulse to rise towards Him.
After this exceptional manifestation of God for us, I am a new person. My perception of Him and upon life has greatly transformed. I am more aware of the responsibility each of us has, to be first of all, the transformation we wish to see in the world.

May it be that through the grace and with the divine help of God and our spiritual Guide all of us that hope for a better, more beautiful more just, and more full of love for God world, to fully assume our divine mission of raising towards Him and thus always do His Divine Will in all our intentions, thoughts, feelings and actions. So help us God!

R.B., 14th year, Bucharest

yogaesoteric
december2009

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