No longer make excessive efforts!
de profesor yoga Gregorian Bivolaru
The vast majority of human beings, lead almost every day, their lives from one effort to another, most often people being driven by futile ambitions and being increasingly tired and exhausted. Some of these people have foolish reasons like: “If I work more, then…, if I manage to overcome this problem, then…, if I force myself more then I will… If I manage to do this better than the others, then … I will surely have more success and I will achieve my ambitions.” This grim attitude that we manifest towards the difficulties we face, the attitude of accepting excessive efforts and wild competition, at any price, is already one of the predominant characteristics of the world in which we live. Little by little, this wrong way to react has a tendency to generalize in our lives. In such a case, our mind always is almost always occupied, and then our being has a concern.
This excessive, grim, egotist effort represents the antithesis of spontaneity, harmony, naturalness, grace and easiness to receive. Unfortunately, these almost obsessive predilections towards stronger efforts, which in some situations characterize our activities, also unfortunately occur within our love relationships.
For us, it would have to be significant that sometimes we might use strange expressions when we say that we “maintain” a relationship, as if we repair a car. By calling such a claim, that we “maintain” a relationship, we degrade that love relationship, often without realizing it. Such a relationship, which we just “maintain” becomes at some point a project, a trivial operation involving mostly a sexual relationship and especially then, care and love are reduced to extinction, and that relationship does not have then anything miraculous anymore. Such a caricature relationship, in which love is almost non-existent, can not offer us a real happiness and it does not allow us to rejoice in its mysterious overwhelming, profound and sublime manifestations. In such a case, we degrade, regress and focus mostly on sharing of feelings, a somehow better communication, or something even more pathetic, we come to negotiate or to exchange in such a caricature relationship. When we get used to such a situation, in which love is almost non-existent, the mysterious and formidable power that united us at the beginning, giving greatness and transfiguration to our love relationship, gradually become a mere trivial component in an equation that for us no longer means anything complex.
By this I do not want you to understand that, in the case of a profound and harmonious relationship of love, we cannot have anything to gain from perseverant attention, focused appropriately on the most proper situations.
If, in the case of a couple relationship we get to be obsessed with only expressing our feelings, we will soon get, analogically speaking, in the situation of a human being who squeezes fiercely, until the last drop, all the juice that exists in a fruit, and thereafter, by squeezing the fruit completely there will only remain its dry dull peel. In such a situation, the empty, dull, dry shape that remains is almost totally lacking any content. In any couple based on mutual love and transfiguration, the state of spontaneity must be maintained unaltered. In the case of a couple in which the state of playfulness, transfiguration and love are maintained, our efforts must never be grim. Our efforts, even when they are made, must be spontaneous, and the state of play must remain constant.
When, at one point, we succeed through a mysterious necessity to integrate harmoniously into that magic continuum, in which our efforts are almost non-existent, where almost everything flows naturally by itself, we suddenly wake up in front of a miracle and then we understand that everything that impresses us and truly fascinates us is, almost always, something enigmatic, grandiose and for free. True love is something mysterious, grandiose, ineffable, sublime and moving. Such a love manifests the grace of GOD THE FATHER and one of its fundamental characteristic is that it cannot be obtained by effort. Each of us knows that we cannot love at command. The love we feel that sometimes manifests spontaneously, in and through us, is a gift that comes from GOD THE FATHER.
Love, when it manifests spontaneously within us, is a gift of the SUPREME ABSOLUTE, is a mysterious energy that comes from GOD the FATHER and cannot be the consequence of an act of the will. Each of us could realize that it is not enough to want something and to immediately afterwards to be able to do that thing. Knowing this, it is important we realize that love is not a specific objective that we must achieve, but in reality it is a mysterious and invaluable treasure which is entrusted to us by GOD the FATHER. It is important to note that we can strive to love; we can reach out to the energy of love when it manifests in our being, but we cannot love at will. Precisely why, as soon as love appears and manifests itself spontaneously in our being, we do not have to make efforts, we must not oppose it, all we have to do is let ourselves led by it, seduced by it, being all the way very attentive to everything that it caused in our being.
If your relationship offers you sublime moments, ecstatic states, paradisiacal experiences, which occur unexpectedly due to the spontaneity that you both manifest, do not make excessive grim efforts, to analyze or repeat these experiences in a theatrical manner, imitating only the form but not the content. If you are spontaneous enough, such sublime unexpected moments will occur with an amazing frequency; all you need to do then is to be as spontaneous as possible, open your heart as much as possible, offer as much love as you can and let your heart flourish in this mysterious and euphoric light of love.
Excerpt from the work ESSENTIAL AMOROUS SECRETS FOR THE YOGIC COUPLES THAT ASPIRE TO BE HAPPY (Chapter 7) by yoga teacher Gregorian Bivolaru
3 April 2012