Ten wise and sensible pieces of advice for avoiding stress and tensions of all kinds (II)
By yoga teacher Gregorian Bivolaru
Read the first part of this article
The fifth wise and sensible piece of advice:
Let us manage the time available for communicating with others as well as possible.
The act of communicating with others in various ways is an important part of our daily work. It also constitutes a key condition for success in almost everything we do in our daily lives, especially when we work as a team or when we collaborate with others in various ways to achieve common goals. In the activities we carry out with others, it is important to aim, moment by moment, for the best possible control in the activity of communication. In this direction, the deficit or lack, but especially the excess can generate a multitude of inconveniences, or they can substantially disrupt our efficiency in the activity that we do. Speaking is an important part of communication. But when we find that we constantly tend to talk meaninglessly and too much, both in direct conversation with other people, and especially on the phone, it is necessary to realise that in so doing, we are wasting much of our valuable time and at the same time we are unnecessarily depleting our inner energy. Excessive talking on the phone, repeated exchanges of impressions, unnecessary dialogues, meaningless speech, even engaging in the extremely harmful habit of chattering, which is a preamble to the tendency to gossip, as well as many other bad habits of this kind, soon induce an unpleasant state of fatigue in the being, significantly reduces the capacity to make efforts and diminishes the efficiency in what we do.
That is why a wise way to proceed is to seek the best possible measure in the communication we have with others, both through direct speech and through the various modern ways of communication we currently have: phone, internet, messages, sms, etc.
It is recommended that we check our incoming emails only twice a day and turn off our mobile phone at certain time periods, for example, during meals or significant activities that require proper focus and especially when working on something that requires a lot of focus. In so doing, we will save ourselves a lot of unnecessary fatigue and avoid discontinuities, which usually cause us to exert twice as much effort as was necessary in a certain direction. Communication with others is a key activity, but we must not abuse it. Our balance depends on knowing how to manage the time and energy assigned to communicating with others.
The sixth wise and sensible piece of advice:
Aim to make time for ourselves.
Harmony and balance of our being is an essential condition for the success of the actions we perform. In general, the actions we take mysteriously mirror something of our being, and at the same time it reflects us as we are and especially as we manifested ourselves in the course of its realisation. Therefore it’s important that we seek to be as self-aware as possible. To achieve this, it is necessary to spend a certain amount of time with ourselves or, in other words, to deepen the state of harmony and balance which brings us as fully in accordance with our deep nature as possible. For each of us, there are certain beneficial activities that attract us deeply and that give us a deep sense of satisfaction and interior fulfilment. Whether it’s reading an inspired book, meditating, walking in the park, or being present in the middle of nature, watching a wonderful movie, doing a series of body postures (ASANA-s), listening to inspired music, meeting with friends, or being with one’s loved one, sharing wonderful states, or engaging amorously in a deep state of love and mutual transfiguration – all of this require time. This time is extremely precious to us. The time spent in this way usually brings us the deepest state of inner fulfilment. This time also nourishes us with mysterious sublime, subtle energies, to which we can be extremely receptive in an elevated way, precisely because of the beneficial resonant affinities that are already awakened in our being. We have all noticed that we can integrate the pleasant actions we perform which deeply harmonise our being, in this so-called personal time much more easily. That is why it is necessary to organise our individual time as well as possible, so that every day we have a minimum time for ourselves, an optimal respite to carry out the beneficial activities to which we feel spontaneously attracted in a relaxed way. Thus, a minimum interval of half an hour a day that we give ourselves without depriving ourselves of sleep, without breaking our working time, meals, or commuting, can afford us a wonderful beneficial mood, which will then radiate from our being throughout the day.
The seventh wise and sensible piece of advice:
Make time to organise ourselves as well as possible.
For the vast majority of people, time spent on order, organisation, and planning, or the time needed to evaluate the results seems to be an unproductive time. In reality, however, this is an extremely valuable and necessary time in order to have a fulfilling and coherent life. Even if for many people, the time usually spent organising and planning activities may seem like a waste of time, this time is in fact particularly valuable, because it allows us to actually make use of this excellent way of increasing the efficiency and speed with which we will then fulfil goals and future actions.
The careful ordering of things, a fair classification and concordant classification of our objectives, even beginning with ordering the papers on which we made various notes, re-numbering priorities that have been previously noted in the agenda, as well as rearranging and numbering the notebooks or folders we currently use, all these are just a few ordering activities that help us to organise as efficiently as possible. Furthermore, in order to be as neat as possible, it is helpful to respond in time to letters, messages, or e-mails that are really important. At the same time, it is good not to keep what is no longer useful to us. When appropriate, we must remove and discard what we no longer need, and also store or archive what is no longer relevant, but may be needed later.
That is why it is useful to file and archive documents and information which is no longer up to date, but which will probably be needed later. Postponement of this type of orderly actions is in fact one of the main causes of fatigue, stress or tension, which often occur in the vast majority of people who hurried, careless or messy. That is precisely why it is essential that when we have something important to do in the area of ordering or organising our activities, to not leave this activity, which is really important, for later. The good organisation of our day-to-day activities, performed regularly, in time and without delay, it will gradually give us an increasing ability to control. In direct correlation to this, a higher state of coherence and harmonious integration into the flow of positive events which generate success, will awaken in our own being.
The eighth wise and sensible piece of advice:
Aim to honour the commitments we have made.
Promises and commitments are an integral part of everyday life. Our word is a guarantee of the trust that people grant us. Not infrequently, however, some promises or commitments we make may be the source of internal tensions, periods of excessive stress or strain, or other times may even be the cause of misunderstandings. To avoid being requested unnecessarily, in order not to be tense almost incessantly, we have every interest in expressing in a way that is as clear as possible, regarding the commitments we make, both in terms of their nature, their content, the deadlines set, and in terms of the expected result. But beware: once all these aspects are established in a lucid and fair way, we must aim to respect them. Some people often refer to this type of approach as “transparency”. Being transparent in our dealings with others means being honest and having integrity in everything we do or promise to others. Transparency is an expression of our sincerity and our objectivity. When we complete a voluntary action, and when we do what we promised to do correctly and in time, we’ll be known as people of their word. In general, when those we work with get to know us as reliable people, our interactions with others will become more and more fluent and harmonious. In order to gain this trust from others, it is very good not to promise more than we know we can actually achieve at that moment.
At all costs we must avoid promises like the “moon in the sky”. Promising more than is really possible to accomplish demands too much of us, then weakens our self-confidence and also affects our trusting relationships with those we interact with. It is also good to learn to say “no” when it is really necessary. Saying “no” in a fair, intelligent, and sensible way is often a testament to honesty and can strengthen our confidence in our objectivity and capabilities. Last but not least, this honest and correct attitude towards others will earn us their respect, because they will notice that they can always rely on us if we commit ourselves to do something for them and they will understand after getting to know us better, that if we refuse them at some point, we do so only because in this concrete situation, conditions do not allow us to assist and we really are unable to help them.
The ninth wise and sensible piece of advice:
Seek to cooperate harmoniously with others.
Achieving a certain goal can often imply the involvement of several people. We may often be tempted to think that it is enough to act alone or to believe that our mobilisation may be enough to accomplish a certain beneficial goal. In reality however, we often need the support, help and collaboration of others. This requires learning to act effectively and in a beneficial way, whilst cooperating in a harmonious and constructive manner with others. Sometimes it may be equally necessary to offer our altruistic support with solicitude and detachment to others when they need it. This is specifically why it is necessary to learn to wisely accept to receive from others, and at the same time to offer support to others, when appropriate, with various beneficial actions which are divinely integrated and useful. This is the key to the success of a wise being who acts in an integrated, harmonious, constructive, effective and divine manner. When the activity in which we are engaged involves a greater complexity, when our beneficial purpose is at the same time accessible to the understanding of others, we must never hesitate, when the opportunity arises, to collaborate or delegate part of our activity to others, in order to ensure the successful completion of that beneficial action. Also, each of our assumptions must be in measure with the possibilities we have, and at the same time in full agreement with the state of divine integration that is offered to us at a given time. That is why it is necessary to understand that acting effectively also involves having a deep and dynamic intuitive awakening and a constant positive orientation of the mind. Ambition, exaggeration, temperamental involvement, selfishness, the encysted tendency to act alone, as well as the unfortunate inclination to approach the actions that we need to achieve superficially and irresponsibly, are real obstacles to successful action. Rather than being overwhelmed by work and not being able to complete something that really needs to be accomplished, it is much better to learn to ask for the support of those we can collaborate with and who are willing to work harmoniously with us, or to divide various tasks from the work we have to do intelligently amongst others, to work harmoniously with them, and thus to approach the success of the action we carry out in unison with our collaborators with sure steps, in the deepest possible state of harmony. In doing so, we will always be willing and at the same time open towards others when necessary, either by collaborating or by participating in a constructive way in the various beneficial actions for which we are, of course, qualified and therefore able to successfully perform our tasks. By requesting and at the same time offering our support, involvement, help and collaboration, we will gradually awaken a wide and deep state of beneficial and deeply fulfilling reciprocity in our being, which will then be reflected in almost everything that we will do in our day-to-day work.
Tenth wise and sensible piece of advice:
Constantly aim to immediately eliminate harmful thoughts and disharmonious, evil feelings.
Negative thoughts are always a source of suffering and inner torment. Whether they are easily recognisable or not, whether they are weak or strong, whether they are temporary or persistent, whether they are deceptive or obvious, or whether they appear harmless to us – negative, bad, or evil thoughts are the main source of torment, fatigue, tension, or stress that we may face at certain times or periods, longer or shorter, of our existence. A negative thought cannot lead us to success, because it expresses an inferior, negative state of occult resonance, which is in an obvious state of incompatibility with the beneficial perspective of success that appears at the end of performing a beneficial action. Negative, evil, and maleficent thoughts consume our mental, psychical and spiritual resources and, in proportion to their persistence, they make our being parasitic, diminishing or even temporarily nullifying our capacity for effective action. That is why it is necessary to eliminate negative thoughts as quickly as possible, especially those that we often wrongly tend to feed with concern and attention when we enter negative states and especially when we become very stressed. Negative thoughts like “I’m not good at anything”, “I’ll never succeed”, “something like this could only happen to me”, must be identified as soon as possible as alarming sources of disturbance of our inner balance and at the same time they must be replaced as soon as possible with beneficial thoughts such as: “I feel perfectly able to accomplish this beneficial action with God’s help,” “there is certainly a wise way through which I can accomplish this action,” or “I seek to understand justly what is happening to me, and I am ready to respond to a creative, beneficial inspiration”. To make our control over our thoughts more effective, it is useful to keep a small daily diary of the main developments we have had, regardless of the field in which we recorded that success, and regardless of the magnitude of the result! Highlighting and becoming fully aware of the beneficial states that appear every time we complete a certain beneficial action, is a fundamental and practical way to awaken and amplify a higher, beneficial and creative state of self-esteem!
July 16, 2020