The control of ejaculation is fundamental for sexual continence

 

Many Tantric and Taoist texts speak about the control of ejaculation. The first image that they usually awaken in the reader is that of a tap that is turned off or of a perineal and genital contraction with the goal of retaining the energy. It is not about forcefully switching off the natural flow, nor about controlling or retaining an energy that knows very well where it wants to reach, or to stop by any means a process that has already started.

Western statistics show that the time a man needs in order to reach the state of orgasmic discharge (ejaculation) is about 10 minutes, but this period has shorten in the last years because of nervous stress, inadequate eating, alcohol, cigarettes, coffee. All these produce a considerable decrease in man’s virility. For women things are completely different. The time a woman needs to reach the first state of orgasm in lovemaking is of minimum 20 minutes. Connecting the 2 situations, we understand why it is difficult for a woman to experience a state of satisfaction and amorous fulfillment in the couple if the man is not continent. Besides, the woman has the natural ability to control the discharge of the sexual potential, which many times for the man is extremely difficult. And for this reason it is very important that this process of controlling the sexual energy by the man is understood and applied as well as possible.

In reality, the authentic principle of non-ejaculation is not to block the energies that are already moving, but to do so that they don’t go towards ejaculation. In other words, this means the expansion of the energetic charge inside our being, directing it to the head area, so that the energy that accumulates during the erotic excitement does not reach that degree of pressure that makes it impossible to hold. If you reach this point, the energy comes out together with the sperm, like the steam through an emitting valve.

This is a true energetic opening, doubled by an emotional opening. Here the metaphor of a famous Zen master fits. When he was asked “How can one control the mind?”, he replied: “The best way to control a bull is to give him enough space to graze. The same thing is valid for you too. If you want to reach perfect silence in meditation, do not allow yourself impressed by the different images you will find in your head. Let them come and go then, they will be under your control. But this is not so easy. When you will try to achieve a state of inner peace, you will not succeed to remain seated. And when you will try to feel that nothing disturbs you, your effort will not be what you need. The only effort that can help you is to focus on exhaling and inhaling. We call this focusing, but focusing your attention on one precise goal is not the real purpose of meditation. The real purpose is to see things as they are and to allow things to develop as they should develop. This attitude is the one that will allow you to have everything under control. Meditating means to open our little mind and, because of this, focusing is just an instrument that will help you perceive the mind bigger or the mind that is everywhere.”

This principle of “mind control” can be applied also for controlling the ejaculation. In this case it is about not letting ourselves impressed by the sensations that we feel in the genital organs, to let them come and go without trying to calm them and to simply follow the rhythm of our breath. The more intensely we focus our attention on inhaling and exhaling, the easier it is for us to control the sexual energy. But this takes time, it cannot be reached just by applying a “fast technique”, because being conscious mentally and being conscious of our own sexual energy is actually the same thing. The Tantric texts recommend an intense, perseverant and adequate hatha-yoga training, both for subtle purification (of the energetic channels on which the sexual energy will be directed) as well as to learn the correct mechanisms of transmutation, sublimation and control.

When we block the ejaculation, it is not necessary that this results in moving the energetic charge to other places, at the level of the entire body, but to enter in the same states of meditation. In fact, it is more likely that such an effort will only add more tension to that which already exists in us. The entire secret of holding the sperm is to relax more and more and to follow with our mind the direction of the energy through our physical body along the channels nature had given it, in order for it to reach wherever it wants to. The man should be completely relaxed and totally conscious of what goes on inside him. The sexual energy stays balanced in the triangle formed by the excitation, relaxation and consciousness, which, starting from the sexual centre, expands in the pelvis and in the entire body.

In many recent books on Tantra, there is a certain confusion between the psycho-physical state and the non-ejaculation phenomenon. When we come close to the superior levels of orgasm, we enter meditative states, where our entire being is so absorbed that we don’t feel any stimulus for ejaculation. It is no longer necessary to expel the accumulated energy, as it has found other ways of expansion. And when we will not “hold” anything, we will simply be so relaxed concerning our energetic charge that this will expand by itself, without focusing in the genital organs. It will go somewhere else, rising to the level of the superior centres (chakras). This phenomenon is known as sublimation.

Similarly, when we are absorbed in meditation, we don’t feel any impulse to move and we feel very good and relaxed in that situation, but the ability to remain still is only the effect and not the cause of this disposition that the meditation makes possible. On the contrary, if we come back from work very tensed and we sit on a chair, forcing ourselves to stay there for half an hour without moving, hoping to enter a state of meditation, it is most likely that the result will be only that we will become even more rigid.

In the oriental vision, living the state of ordinary orgasm (with discharge) leads to limited availability in time, to exhaustion, to loss of vitality, it decreases the affective and mental power, brings sleepiness. Excess in this direction will inevitably lead to instinctive rejection of the loved person or of yourself. On the contrary, applying successfully the control of the sexual energy leads to an amplification of the amorous pleasure, of the state of inner fulfilment. A state of vital regeneration and rejuvenation appears. It is produced the elimination of tiredness, the amplification of mental capacities, the awakening of personal charm that will be noticed by all those around us. It is a process of expansion of the entire being, not just of sexuality and it is a process that starts with the awakening of a serious interest for the self and with a choice – the choice to take the responsibility of our own virility and well-being.
What do you choose?  yogaesoteric
June 2011


 

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