The art of arousal – the gate to sublime amorous experiences

by Paula Suciu

The art of arousal consists of awakening the erotic sensuous energy of the entire body and giving erotic and sensual pleasure to the loved one, through caresses and touching. The most appropriate energy during lovemaking is enjoying every erotic moment for the sake of the pleasure it generates, and not because it will eventually lead to the final satisfaction of an orgasm.

Tantric wisdom acknowledges the fact that, in general, in a man passion can be awakened much quicker than in a woman and it reaches climax faster, while the feminine orgasm is harder to attain but it lasts longer.

The tantric couple practicing lovemaking with transfiguration and sexual continence must constantly seek to harmonize these differences, in order to permanently improve the quality of their love life, in order to offer fulfillment to each other, on as many levels as possible

Tantra advocates that the woman has a much higher orgasmic capacity than the man and, additionally, she is endowed with a truly exceptional native gift which allows her to easily achieve sexual continence. Most of women are capable of living overwhelming states of orgasm, living prolonged blissful and intense states, without discharge. On the other hand, women can reach orgasm much later than men and need an ample, intense and satisfying foreplay before every act of lovemaking.

For the man to be able to fulfill the woman he loves, it is essential for him to gain control on his creative potential, by systematically training in order to successfully attain sexual continence. The greatest happiness for the tantric lover is to make his lover happy. For this, he must learn to make love with sexual continence, transfiguration, filled with selflessness and adoration. Proceeding in this manner, his patience will be rewarded with the ecstatic joy of her lover. His movements must be slow, and for those who are not completely secure when it comes to sexual continence, he must engage in a slow rhythm, in order to be able to transmute the amorous potential, while gradually sublimating the resulted energy into higher levels of his being.

It is important that while we are making love we hold our lover, from time to time, breathe slowly and deeply together with her, while gazing into each other’s eyes in order to amplify the state of intimacy and the emotional bond. When our eyes are closed, we will try to focus on the feelings that each kiss or each caress is stirring up within us and to leisurely savor the pleasure given by each of them.

Female eroticism

When a man makes love to his lover, he must do it with a state of reverence and profound adoration, regarding her body as both a temple of pleasure and an altar of devotion. Tantric texts depict the female sexuality as a sacred mystery and as a way through which both she and her lover can attain states of physical and spiritual orgasm.

Then entirety of the female body is generating pleasure and extremely sensible to any form of touching, therefore it is indicated for the lover to caress her and kiss her all over. Her sexual energy awakens and responds both to the physical stimuli and the emotional ones, when she feels loved and cherished. A sensitive love will make sure the woman he loves is extremely turned on, and in this direction he will conduct a loving foreplay before penetrating her. When the woman is excited, her nipples get hard, her skin is blushing and the lubrication fluids begin to flow. Through sensuous words, through the bodily responses she expresses, she signals her lover that she is emotionally and physically ready to receive him.

In the old manuscripts on sexuality, many have tried to find the most elaborate terms in order to describe the feminine genitalia – the vagina and clitoris. In the Indian treaties, we will most often encounter terms like Jewel or Lotus (sacred Indian flower), while in the Chinese Tao tradition, we will encounter more poetic terms, such as the Jade Gateway, the Vale of Pleasure or the Pearl. All these poetic intricate names are illustrating the respect given to the feminine erotic nature and they portray the fact that the female genitalia used to be perceived as divine gates to ecstatic pleasure.

Advice for men
The erogenous areas surrounding the female sexual organs have a special erotic charging with them. They must be cherished, caressed, overwhelmed with sensual kisses and touches which will make her thighs and abdomen shiver with pleasure.

Kiss the face, forehead and neck of your girlfriend as gently as possible, before your lips meet. These intimate gestures will open her heart and will make her be enveloped in affectionate warmth.
A woman’s breasts are extremely erogenous and sensually kissing them will awaken her erotic energy. Only through delicately caressing them will your lover be able to live overwhelming states of ecstatic love.

Male eroticism

The visual stimulus usually plays an important role in male arousal, just as the direct tactile contact with the main erogenous area of the man plays – the lingam. Without direct stimulation of the lingam and of his sensible head, it is difficult for a man to attain orgasm. In the art of tantric love, it is essential for the woman to understand how to play with her lover’s pelvis during lovemaking or how to kiss and caress his lingam so that he will benefit from maximum pleasure, without ever reaching ejaculation. She must seek to teach her lover what types of erotic stimulation and what moves bring him the most pleasure and she must also learn from these signals, when to slow down a bit.

From an early age, men are often conditioned to be disconnected or hard on their bodies, due to them not being encouraged to explore their bodily intimacy, the emphasis only being set on obtaining a certain form of physical endurance and performance, vigor and competitiveness.

Most of the subtle nuances of physical sensuality, which constitute an important part in tantric lovemaking are, most of the times, neglected. In ancient tantric rituals, it was customary for the male disciple to bathe himself and lubricate his body with oil before taking part in certain ceremonies. In more complex couple rituals, man would touch certain parts of his body while chanting certain specific sounds, with the purpose of awakening and refining the physical, spiritual and energetic responses of her lover.

A man who is willing to start the path of tantric transfiguring lovemaking will have to physically become more sensuous and more sensitive to the signals given by his own body. Also, he must learn to enjoy erotic contact at the level of his entire body, through prolonged foreplay, while abandoning to the sensuous kisses and delightful caresses of her lover, so that the grip of consciousness on his own sexuality to extend to the entire surface of his body.

Advice for women
Your lover adores the playful, but erotic feeling which occurs when you rub your body against his skin, with sensual and delicate moves. This makes him aware of the sensuality which he will feel at the level of the entire body, while your breasts, fingers or abdomen are gently and excitingly caressing him.

Caress his buttocks and the area around them. Caressing and battering the buttock muscles can be extremely exciting for him, just as caressing the perineum and scrotum. In the beginning, gently and delicately caress his lingam, while paying attention to the signals of pleasure he will give you and amplify the pleasure while causing him feelings of ecstatic and overwhelming pleasure, while perfectly controlling the awakened erotic energies.

Awakening and amplifying an intense and profound state of delicious intimacy generated by perfectly knowing the art of titillating are the basis of any love relationship, where two lovers are animated by the aspiration of reaching ecstatic, heavenly states. In order to reach this state, both the woman and the man must mutually guide themselves according to an ancient tantric ideal which says:

“The man’s greatest happiness is to fully and profoundly feel the happiness he awakens in his lover.”

“The woman’s greatest happiness is to fully and profoundly feel the happiness she awakens in her lover.”

October 2014

Also available in: Română

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