The pleasure of making love
Tantra does not mean only the sexual act, as how many people understand, but it has to be viewed as an art, extremely complex, and also ineffable through the ecstatic states which the two lovers have who join amorously. The accent in the tantric amorous fusion is put on the amorous sexual postures realized in the most intimate, profoundly relaxing ambience, using aphrodisiac “ingredients”, making ritualised gestures which bring a state of sacredness during amorous fusion and help the couple to realize with a great ease control of the sexual energies, applying techniques of breathing, of creative visualization, etc.
Below we will describe some amorous tantric postures which are used more often during the erotic games.
The five basic postures of spiritual amour are: woman on top, man on top, postures on the side, postures in the sitting position and postures in which the woman is seated with the back to the man. Of course there are many variations to these basic sexual postures: the standing position, standing with the head down, the “on all fours” position, etc.
In the art of tantric amour there are usually found five so-called “elaborate” sexual postures. It is talking about the oral-genital postures:
- The woman standing, crouching or sitting over the man, facing him, her vagina touching his mouth.
- The man standing, crouching or in a sitting position, and the woman kneeling or sitting, facing him, playing with his penis
- The man and woman in the posture 69, in reciprocal oral-genital contact, woman being on top.
- The man and woman in the posture 69, in reciprocal oral-genital contact, man being in top.
- The man is lying down or in a sitting position; the woman is on her feet, is sitting or kneeling over him, with the back to him, so that her face is oriented toward his feet.
Due to the fact that the woman needs much more time than the man to reach orgasm, it is recommended that the first sexual postures adopted are those that give the woman maximum stimulation. These vary from one person to another, so that a certain period of practice can be necessary before discovering which the most exciting postures are.
Men are generally excited very quickly and they often reach orgasm very quickly. In their case, they have to choose initially the posture that generates the minimum of physical stimulation, in order to permit them to perfectly control the sexual energy. The majority of Western men believe that they really have to prove their manhood, the reason that they try to be very energetic, vigorous lovers. Many times they assume the dominant role and believe they will better satisfy their lover by powerful penetration. This however makes them ejaculate before their partner is completely satisfied or even, in some cases, before reaching orgasm.
Female satisfaction represents the foundation stone in tantra. Many tantrics suggest that at the beginning of the amorous game, the man makes oral amour to the woman. One of the positions described above can us chosen for this purpose. The man has to kiss passionately the yoni of his lover, and she has to say to him what pleases her the most, guiding him, so that it is possible to experience the maximum pleasure together. In order to perfectly harmonise during the amorous act, the two lovers can look into each other’s eyes from time to time, seeking to feel empathically the way the other experiences the pleasure and joy of the erotic fusion.
Then, the woman can come on top of the man, sitting or kneeling and be penetrated by his erect lingam, teasing him. In this phase the man has to be also correctly attentive on the control of the sexual energy. He must not rise up to better penetrate his lover, but has to stay lying, making the most powerful contraction of the pelvic zone or mulabandha. This helps avoid premature ejaculation and the energetic discharge.
Tantrics accentuate the fact that the woman has to feel very free, without prejudice or sexual inhibitions, so they can enjoy to the maximum the pleasure of the amorous act. It is good that she initially adopts an active role during the amorous game with their lover. Once the woman reaches orgasm, the postures can be changed, trying however to not interrupt intimate contact, to experience simultaneously as many and as profound states of orgasm as possible.
After realizing the posture in which the woman was on top of the man, they will change the position, being easier for both to adopt sexual postures in sitting positions seated one facing the other, looking into their eyes. These postures do not permit the making of too ample movements. The woman leaves the penetration to her lover, being seated on top of him, with her legs around his trunk, her breasts and lips being easily accessible to his mouth, her back and buttocks can be easily touched by his hands. The seated postures assure a greater intimacy and a very good control over the sexual energies.
In the case of the seated tantric postures, where the woman stays in the arms of the man, facing him, she still possesses control. The woman should make the technique of mulabandha (contraction of the pelvic zone) and yoni Mudra (contraction of the vaginal muscles) in order to rhythmically grip the lover’s lingam with her yoni. In this posture the fundamental energy of the being, Kundalini Shakti, can be easily awoken and directed upwards, along the spinal column. The sensation experienced by both lovers is extremely pleasant.
From the seated postures it is very simple for the woman to lie on her back and to ask her partner to make love with her, him being on top of her. This is a posture in which the man can assume the dominant role. Spreading very wide the legs or pushing them backwards, with the knees on the head, the man can penetrate very deeply, touching intimately the vagina.
Then the two lovers can pass into a position “seated on a side”. Still being face to face, the position facilitates a complete relaxation and an intimate fusion of the two bodies. The attention can now be orientated on the breathing, each trying to absorb the breath of the other, which will lead to a state of very great intimacy and a very profound communion of the soul.
Without withdrawing, the man will turn his lover so that she comes with her back to him. This permits his lingam to touch certain zones of her yoni which are not accessible in other postures. Once this posture has been experienced for a sufficient time, the two lovers can pass with ease into the posture 69, so that they continue in a marvellous way the erotic celebration. This posture, made in the West by few couples, can facilitate the apparition of some states of orgasm extremely powerful and ample, experienced simultaneously by the two lovers.
Kamil Zvelebil, eminent European indolog made as one of his works a summary of advice which he himself received from a yogi. After he gave more details referring to the necessary objectives of a good state of health – for example, the regime based on fresh food and the necessity that food is chewed very well, sunbathing, profound and rhythmic breathing, eight hours of sleep at night, undressed and with the head towards the north, regular walks and cultivating a positive mental attitude, this yogi also spoke about eros. Here are the recommendations that he made to him: “Frequent and regular erotic games are beneficial. However, seek to master the sexual pleasure and not be its slave. Oral-genital amour is not harmful, but on the contrary – it is often advised. Visualise yourself as being Shiva, the creator, and visualise your lover as being his energy, Shakti. Enjoy his love game and sip the nectar of pleasure which flows from her yoni.
The five basic postures as well as the five “elaborate” postures have to be practiced sufficiently so that passing from one posture into another is achieved with skill. For some, the amorous games becomes an ecstatic dance, for others more “choreography” is necessary and a certain period of practice, but in the end the state of mastery in this art of love-making will be achieved.
Therefore, practice and you will become masters of the transfigurating tantric amour. What can be more pleasant other than to make love with your beloved?